My friend died today. As I sit here I feel quite numb. She's battled cancer for four years and the last month was just the last straw her body could take.
She was one of the happiest people I've ever met. I wonder what her secret was?
Thirty six years ago my very best friend died of cancer. I had made a conscious choice to stick it out with her to the bitter end. I had made that choice when I met her. You see, she was in remission at the time and it was the type that carried an inevitable death sentence. I'll never forget that moment sitting across the table from her. It was a milestone marker moment in my life.
I had intended to do the same this past month but one thing or another got in my way. Mostly I believe it was fear. Fear of my own raw emotions that would surface. I should have told myself, "This is NOT about you. It's about her."
I saw her two weeks ago and she was doing remarkable well so today's news came as a shock. I thought I had more time. But it's not about me.
She is free now. Free as the birds.
Condolences... So sad..The shock is one of the worst things to deal with..I lost a good friend last year...Photography friend who was also a coworker, somebody I saw and talked to almost every day..He was only 45 or 46 years old..I had been retired for a year and a half, so I lost touch with him, only the occasional e-mail between us...Another former coworker e-mailed me the awful news..What had happened was that my friend didn't call in or come to work for a couple of days..He didn't answer his landline or his cell..He lived alone..This triggered his loved ones to go look for him, they broke in his apartment, where they found his body..
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for the loss of your friends. Two deaths is two too many. I am sure she knew she was in your thoughts. Hugs
ReplyDeleteI lost my best friend overnight with no warning a year ago. I always say why didn't I spend more time with her. We talked every day but if I would have known I would lose her I would have seen her so much more. So now I always try to spend as much time with my lived ones as I can. I am sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteIm so sorry for the loss of your friend. I think she will stay awhile around to make sure your ok with her leaving. That has been my experience with death.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you and keep a smile while you let go.. Im sure thats what she would want.
So sorry. I understand the sense of fear. When we sit and watch someone else fading before our eyes, we are faced with our own mortality.
ReplyDeleteOh my Roxi, I'm so sorry for your loss. You've written this so eloquently {{hugs}}
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so sorry to hear your news. Your tribute to her is quite beautiful. Remember all the good times.
ReplyDeleteGosh this was tough to read, so sorry Roxi. I can understand your thoughts on this and yes it isn't about any of us in times like this.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for the loss of your friend, Roxi.
ReplyDeleteRoxi my dear I am so dreadfully sorry. I wish had seen this sooner! A lovely, thoughtful tribute to your friend. Love, prayers, and big hugs...xoxo
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